My Naked Truth

My soul cries out for pleasure, 

my mind is alert for sensual experience,

my heart and body aches for oneness,
my spirit demands satisfaction and orgasmic exploration.

Extract from Chapter 1

There I found myself, another dull day of normality, another heartless hour, another meaningless conversation, again and again the senseless feeling of existence!

How much longer could I go on feeling so tightly bound into this boring thing we call life?  This question didn't leave me moist and excited.  No it left me feeling frustrated and unsatisfied.  As I gazed into the orange burnt toffee sky in the distance I willed myself to feel different, to experience erotica with life.

It was the very next day as I travelled through another busy thing we call life, all dressed in my ego's best clothes and imagining that others saw my distinct tight butt wrapped in the belief of control, striding it out in my heels of importance and clutching my bag full of the past, that I stopped by a fountain.

As the water splashed into the pond creating enticing ripples of delight I saw, to my surprise within the Pond of Reflection, a woman.   She was in all her glory, dancing erotically, did I mention naked?  Well she was completely starkers, water glistening on her body, droplets cascading over her smooth soft skin.  Upon her face a teasing smile, her deep green eyes dancing and sparkling, her long wet hair falling in curls around her neck and shoulders, shameless she was, completely shameless!  

I tutted her wishing she would cover herself up so that I felt justified dressed so superbly, layer upon layer in fact of reasons as to why I was like I was.  I looked around others were well dressed too, some smartly, others far more casually and others well a little hodge podge in my view.

I was just about to walk on in disgust when right in front of me a woman dropped her bag, a smile of pure delight on her face. She effortlessly removed her jacket of belief.  She threw it so carelessly, that beautiful designer jacket I almost picked it up for her.  But she was not finished, she then started un-buttoning her light white sheer blouse and kicked off her high heels.  Then, there before my eyes and anyone else who was around me completely shed her blouse, it shimmied off her shoulders and fell gracefully to the ground (as only a light silk would). Her breasts were immediately glaringly exposed.  Within a moment her tailored skirt fell down her thighs.  She was butt naked!   My righteous self was aghast, bewildered and completely alerted to the ease that this woman had shed all her beliefs and judgments, how could she so recklessly strip herself from her values and the ego that keeps her individuality?

It's as though I split into two, right there on the spot, the righteous, egotistical and logical part of me absolutely appalled by the display of exposure, the other inner explorer, the fun dynamic creative part of me desiring to relieve myself and peel back my own layers and join her.

But it wasn't that simple really, well not for me, I mean the layers of judgement were think, the cords of justification tied tight and securely, the yarn of stories and tales from my past kept me completely covered, and that was without consideration of the tangle of hallucinations I had about other peoples thoughts about me.  My belief clothes were a web that was intricately woven linking one thing to another, I realised I was almost suffocating.

A niggle inside of me caught my attention, a pleasant yet gentle surge, and a wild woman stirred, one who's every desire is met, who's needs are always satisfied, who know what she wants and gets what she wants creatively and easily.  I felt her stir and awaken within me. I tried to resist this awakening, I was scared of such a wild and sensual creature, I was fearful of her desires to explore new ways of being, I was not ready to let go of the crazy habitual normal safe known way of being.  I was terrified of the unknown possibilities and fantasies that could be explored.

Yet the softly driving need to explore whispered in such a gentle way creating desire to well up inside of me...